I’m not okay.
I don’t understand how gay people can be so heartless, I don’t get it like relationships mean nothing to the rest of you. Yes this is based on my personal life and to those that are getting offended because my rant I’m sorry but this whole thing is shit pure shit. You say you want someone that is honest and trustworthy but when it comes down to it you’re not either of those and I’ve been busting my ass to make you happy but it doesn’t seem to work no matter how much I do for you it never seems to be enough and last night was a real eye opener for me I can’t keep hurting myself to make you feel better. This is all your fault I’m feeling like this you had the power to make me feel like the most lucky person ever and you just smacked me down then you’ll build me back up to just do it over again. You always say your broken and hurting, if that is the case then why am I the only one that cries all the time, why is it I’m the one that always seems to be hurting while you’re just going about your business I opened my heart to you I let you in and you just put me back in my place, I won’t make that mistake again. This whole thing has been a learning experience for me. This is what I’ve learned.
1) You like to toy with my emotions.
2) You’re not happy unless there is drama going on.
3) You’re self-centered.
4) You like to make people feel like their disposable.
5) You’re a liar.
and the last one, YOU’RE SINGLE!
- Me on my wedding day: you still like me right
It’s the strangest thing.
I’m not sure but today I feel totally like Elsa. I know I have friends and I am connected to the outside world but something seems a miss and it’s giving me anxiety and so many fears that I’m afraid that I’m close to shutting down and pushing everyone out.. But it seems that’s what I do best, right when I get close to someone I push them away because I don’t want to get hurt or disappointed again. That’s what I hate most getting my hopes up and then watching them come crashing down, the saddest part is I watch it happen to myself over and over but I don’t change anything about me I go into these friendships, relationships, whatever with blind faith because I want to believe in Humanity each time I get proof that that is just a common myth. But yet I still try because I want Disney like romance or TV Show friendships where everything works out in the end. I know this sounds silly to those of you that are reading this but I also know that some of you feel the same cause I see it everyday and maybe that is what gives me hope, I’m not sure what it is that keeps me going at this point only thing I can come up with is that I’m destined for something, something big perhaps.
Seth and Saundra go to Hogwarts
So a few months ago my friend’s grandparents bought him a house to start off in.
On a night when we were supposed to hang out, my mother and I had gotten into another of our huge arguments and I went down to his car crying uncontrollably. As soon as he found out what happened to me and what my…
Oh Saundra, you know how to just go for my feels right off the bat. Instant tears when I read this. Thank you for sending me appreciation, I send it right back to you. Most people say don’t move in with your friends because you’ll become just roommates well I say that’s bullshit. Honestly I’ve never felt closer to someone in my life, I thank the stars everyday that we have met, We need to finish Game of Thrones by the way, shit’s getting good. LOL I need comedy to counter act the joyful tears cause well I hate crying LOL!! I love you dearly my best friend!
So Seth and I were talking about the way we eat our chicken Alfredo- with the chicken on the side
- Me: I do it because I'm not supposed to eat mixtures of meat and milk.
- Seth: I don't know why I do it, it just doesn't feel right.
- Me: That's because it's a sin, Seth.